Our Year in Review

2018 has come and gone in what feels like record time! I wanted to document the year just a bit here on our semi-abandoned blog. Our Christmas card did a good job of hitting this year's highlights, so here's that graphic:

What a year it's been! Asher's baptism; our spring break in DC; extended visit with cousins; celebrating 10 years of marriage together with the trip of a lifetime; welcoming a brand new nephew who lives three minutes away; summer days at Calypso Cove; Holiday World with cousins; our first trip back to Nauvoo since our wedding; Preston starting kindergarten; taking a last-minute (and our first) trip to Walt Disney World; finding out we are expecting our fourth child; enjoying Thanksgiving with Andrew's family in Bowling Green where we met and dated; Christmas with both sides of the family.

On a personal note, I made a goal to love better this year and have definitely seen progress! I became much more intentional with my social media use, and while I've missed lots of friends' happenings, feel like a more centered and present spouse and parent. I've had more time to listen to really good books and podcasts too! I just barely finished reading the Book of Mormon and feel so spiritually strengthened and full of gratitude for our Savior Jesus Christ. I know He lives!

 This year had its tragedies and triumphs, but overall, we feel more balanced and blessed than ever before. Here's to big (and small :) things ahead in 2019!

A Post

Okay, so this poor blog has been reduced to uploading whatever pics happen to be on my phone and giving a quick synopsis of life. But hey. Seasons of life, am I right? 

Here is a little update on what's going on with each of us. 

Asher - This big, handsome boy is loving being home for the summer. He continues to excel academically and has been helpful and much more of a peacemaker at home lately. He started piano lessons a few months ago, and although he isn't enthusiastic about them, loves teaching himself songs from favorite movies by ear. He plays those anthems incessantly! He is also in his first summer of machine-pitch baseball, which he is lukewarm on, but fun to watch.

Preston - This hilarious kid is loving regular play dates, mornings at the Y and will start preschool at Crestwood Baptist this fall. He has an artistic mind (loves to draw, has an expert eye for visual similarities, and is always best at name that tune), is usually very sweet and agreeable, but is still always ready with the stink face when something or someone displeases him. Still hoping he somehow grows out of that, because it's made for some uncomfortable moments with strangers.

Rhett - The 20-month old is as cute as they come, but trashes our house on a daily basis. He is our first climber and fast as lightning. He'll be at my feet one moment, and then on the counter dumping out a bowl of cereal the next. He is very good-natured, until you take something he enjoys away, or refuse to let him play in the street. The toddler loves to wrestle with his brothers, and is ultra-cuddly and affectionate. 

Andrew - Andrew is working HARD. He no longer does vision exams, only medical, and sees an average of 50 patients a day. I think his record is 67, and that's a TON - especially when the cases are  often complicated ones that have been referred out by other doctors. But he feels so fortunate to be doing what he truly loves within a thriving practice! Yesterday he was released from his calling as Young Men's president at church and we are anxious (and not so anxious) to see where he'll serve next. He had a week off work in mid-June, and we loved getting to visit Ali (his twin sister) and Bryan in Savannah. We LOVE that place! 

Sarah - I'm doing pretty well. It's summer time, so my workload has increased with all the kids home. The kitchen is a lot busier (messier), and there are lots of little squabbles to break up, but I feel so thankful for Calypso Cove, the Y, the zoo, and BATS games to get us out of the house. I am also working my Rodan+Fields business, which can be hard, but is SO rewarding. It is the last thing I would have ever gotten into on my own (I hate anything sales), but bummer skin and a grad school loan were motivation enough to explore it. The experience for me has now gone far beyond a paycheck or skincare into a realm of relationships and personal development. I don't like the thought of being part of the online "Buy this!" cacophony, but do love helping people find increased confidence and peace of mind. It's totally worth the risk of seeming like "that" person. 

My sister Amy and I are driving with the boys to Oklahoma next week. We'll visit my mom, grandma and sister, and Hannah and Spencer will be down from Canada at the same time - huge bonus! We'll get back to Kentucky Friday night and then Andrew and I will head to Chicago the next morning for a whirlwind anniversary/birthday trip. My in-laws will be staying with the boys, and folks, traveling childless is as luxurious as it gets these days. Andrew blew me away by purchasing Hamilton tickets, and I am so excited to share that experience with him and enjoy seeing the sites and eating at restaurants with no one crying or climbing on tables!

I should probably not write while feeling tired and apathetic - but an update is an update! Here are some old pics I uploaded into this post a short SIX MONTHS AGO. Hahaha, I need a nap and an extra couple hours each day. :)

Bennett and Bloom Christmas party 

This sweet thumb-sucking baby LOVES his daddy.

Documenting trading my high school Civic in for Andrew's Acura. It actually made me shed a tear or two and I still miss it a little. New chapters!

Okay, I will write a better post next time when my heart is in it to make up for this one. Life is good, even if my blogging isn't. :)

Fall '16

We are enjoying a pretty peaceful fall in these parts. The highlights these past few weeks have mainly been school, soccer, and sisters, with a first birthday party thrown in the mix.

Asher is an adorable, albeit large, first grader these days. We are now to the point that when Andrew puts away laundry, my jeans are regularly placed in Asher's drawer, and vice versa. I'm guessing he'll be my height by about age 11. He is a fun-loving boy who sometimes talks and plays too much (genetics happen), but is doing very well academically. He has taken to self-encouragement on his school papers, lately - saving his teacher a step. 

The irony of this being a spelling paper was not lost on us. :)

Preston's fall soccer season was filled with highs, lows, and flat on the grounds. 

Sometimes it's a perfect sunny day, and you're kickin' it with your best friend.

Sometimes it's drizzly and cold, your best friend is out of town, and you're just not feelin' it. Your limbs lose all strength and you go overcooked-noodle-limp.

Sometimes you repeatedly storm off-field, cross your arms and act unresponsive to your extremely nice coach. Maintaining pill status takes commitment, and you're no quitter, after all. 

Except when it comes to soccer.

 But sometimes the sun breaks through the clouds as well as your resolve. Strength surges back into your limbs and you triumphantly kick a goal in the final game.

Your paparazzi parents force you to face the blinding sun, but you don't care. You've got your best friends, your very first medal and a Rice Krispy Treat. 

It was a roller coaster, but we'll probably be back to ride next year.

On October 1st, sweet little Rhett became a yearling. We had a "Time Flies"  party theme with little airplanes, and invited family over to celebrate with us. 

I always thought Rhett favored Andrew until I saw this picture. 

Aunts a plenty

After making Rhett's airplane cookies, I used the extra dough and icing to make desserts that looked like other desserts. 

The royal icing technique takes a lot of time, but I love getting better at something new! You don't mind messing up as much when your mistakes are delicious.

Hannah came in from Canada and suddenly there were 4 White sisters all together. Spending time with them is always like heaven to me. 

This is what a "good" family picture has been reduced to these days. 

Hannah didn't quite get to stay a week, but we loved getting to have her. She and I are probably the most alike out of any two in our family, and I will keep crossing my fingers that someday she and Spencer will live close someday!

These sunny fall days continue to come and we'll sure miss them when they're gone. 

Everyday Snapshot

What we're...

Watching: The boys have been on an old school Alvin and the Chipmunks kick. Not a bit educational, but there is something gratifying about seeing them enjoy something we did as kids. Andrew and I recently finished Stranger Things and have been watching BBC's Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell on Netflix. It is set in Britain in the late 1700's and revolves around English magic. Kind of out there and a little dark at times, but well made. We are at that point where we're just about as sad as we are excited to watch the last couple episodes...#impendingshowhole.

Listening to: Guster's album Easy Wonderful. So many great songs we all like. I should mention here that the entire month of August was dedicated to the Hamilton soundtrack. The songs stayed in our heads CONSTANTLY. I started to shy away from it because even the "clean" version took a lot of editing around the kids. Plus curse words set to catchy music just have extra staying power in my little mind. Anyway, it was really fun to get caught up in that historical period. The musical made me so fascinated with the American Revolution and I learned so much! 

Reading: The kids have discovered The Friend magazine (okay, so we finally subscribed). Andrew is on the final Harry Potter book (this is actually his first time through - he is listening to the audio during his commute), and I just started Dan Brown's Inferno (also on MP3 audio - thank you library!) Listening while getting ready, doing kitchen prep, cooking, cleaning, etc. is almost the only way I can read without guilt these days. One of my long-held dreams is sitting up comfortably in bed, enjoying a book with no one else needing me, and no chores being neglected. Someday. 

Eating: Made our favorite fall dish for dinner tonight: Slow Cooker Corn and Potato Chowder. I use Hormel Real Crumbled Bacon, which is much faster, less fat and less mess. This is really yummy served with shredded sharp cheddar and honey cornbread.

Working on: Andrew: Finding balance between work/church/home.

Sarah: Staying positive and others-focused while staying on top of kids/house/church calling, etc. 

Asher: Geography, maintaining good behavior at school and asking "How Can I Help?" at home.

Preston: Reading, counting to 100, soccer skills, resisting the urge to ride baby Rhett like a pony.

Rhett: Cutting new teeth and taking steps.

Life feels so full right now in both happy and hard ways. We are trying to keep life centered on the Savior to help us manage whatever crops up. No matter how overwhelmed we feel, we are always stunned by how blessed we've been and how the hand of the Lord is so manifest in our lives. 

And now random, low-quality cell phone pics:

Our family's first foray into soccer has been thoroughly enjoyed by all so far.

 I was trying to take a makeupless "before" pic on the day I began using Rodan and Fields (I just bought the consultant kit and have high hopes) and soon had company.

 If he survives all the sibling love, Rhett will someday be the toughest boy we've got.

 Merry go round break at our last Bats game of the season.

First grade or bust!

 So thankful Preston has wonderful little friends here!

 Rhett's morning nap has been holding us hostage lately. This is the morning we attempted to defy it and get out anyway. :)

A Saturday morning together in our dream neighborhood - Norton Commons

 Trying to capture those little teeth!

Two-thirds of the rare 3-child nap

Rhett. RHEEETT!!! 

He just needs to stop being so cute before my heart explodes and his dad has to settle on some cheap step-mom to help raise him.

Working the Dream

         Life has been shaken up for us a bit lately! Last month Bluegrass Eye Centers (where Andrew has practiced since graduating last year) merged with another ophthalmic practice - Bennett and Bloom. Turns out what sounds like a children's boutique is actually a very large, successful eye care group featuring some of the premier doctors in Louisville. They really are all exceptional. And while Andrew certainly is too, he's very lucky to have joined them, given he's pretty new to the game. He's completing an ocular disease residency there, and we're so proud of him. He'll no longer do vision exams, only medical...which is a little sad, but really what he loves doing most anyway. 

          He'll make more, but work more. In fact, we'll have about 15 fewer hours together as a family most weeks, which feels like a lot. I won't lie, the first week I teared up a couple times. Our kids are little and these years are precious. Also, doing after school madness (that storm of homework, dinner, and children that combine forces to test your weekday sanity) and then bedtime on my own several nights in a row gave me so much respect for single parents. I know I can never complain...we're not dealing with death, divorce or deployment. But it was still hard.

         It's been a few weeks now, and I honestly feel fairly adjusted. I'm getting better at managing things, and love feeling my capacity increase. Instead of waiting for Daddy to get home, we go and do things on our own. Tuesday night I realized I had put kids in and out of car seats alone a total of 12 times that day. Quite an accomplishment for a scatterbrained co-dependent. :) 

         I still get frazzled, but even in the midst of the craziness feel blessed to have a fantastic husband who has an incredible job doing exactly what he loves. We live in a safe neighborhood and all our needs are more than met. There is chocolate waiting to greet me when the kids are finally down. Life is really good.

        And I'm learning that sometimes, even our blessings can be hard. Living the dream takes work.

We'll miss you, Bluegrass Eye!

You too, daddio! ;)

An Explanation

So this blog has been hanging over my head big time. BIG TIME! Since the beginning of the year, I have written and nearly completed a lovely recap post FIVE times, only to have it DELETED each time. I swear I hit "save"...I think I need to update my browser or something. But please, take a moment to understand the gravity here. I have spent a dozen or more hours of highly precious kids-are-down time selecting and importing low-quality pictures, writing thoughtful commentary, editing, etc. only to have them thrown in, nay - FLUSHED DOWN the toilet. This last time when I logged on to complete the post and saw all my work had once again been deleted, I actually cried and considered the possibility that the heavens did not want me to recap the last 6 months of family life. Is my work not good enough for you, universe?!?

But no matter. I know not the reason for this maddening and heartbreaking turn of events, but for now, I must let this explanation suffice. We live in an age of online sharing, but for the past year or so, I’ve grown increasingly disenchanted with social media. While I love keeping up and interacting with friends, my feeds began to overwhelm me. So many voices screaming, “Look at me!” “Buy this!” “My kid is doing something cute!!” All fine in the right amounts, but I have friends that post 5 or 10 times a day, and keeping up with it all began to feel like work. So I stepped back and made peace with the idea of missing things.

And while I am not an especially private person, the idea of artificially inserting my life into another’s consciousness seems distasteful at times. Which is why I value this out-of-fashion family blog. Should anyone want to know what we are about, it is here and open.

There are always a million “unbloggy” things that need doing, but I have not given up on this baby! Unless this post gets deleted. Then I’ll slit my wrists and start a Twitter account.

The Day Rhett Came

The following is an overly detailed account of the day Rhett was born. I wrote most of it the week following his birth, but then school and Christmas demanded most of my child-free computer time. The little guy is a smiling 11-week-old chub now, but better late than never!

After a week of contractions that subsided when I stopped moving, we settled for an induction scheduled on Thursday, October 1st. I felt a little guilty to be forcing this baby into the world, but in light of our doctor's schedule, Andrew's patient schedule, and the fact my in-laws could only come help with the boys that weekend before leaving town, our time frame won out. Sorry baby.

I called the hospital at 5:00 AM as instructed, only to hear they had no beds available, and to call back at 8:30. I grabbed an extra hour of sleep (which made 4 and a half total - too many nerves. I wanted to have the baby, just not HAVE the baby, ya know?), got up with Andrew and curled my hair (am I the only one who tries to look pretty when they go to the hospital? You know it will be a very documented day, so go looking like the induction you are, by golly. Not someone who loved their baby enough to let it come naturally). Oddly, or not at all - both boys slept in for the first and last school morning ever, and had to be awoken. The ONE time we were already up. Still shaking my head.

I got Asher ready for school, then called the hospital back. "No room in the inn." Popular time to have a baby...what was happening 9 months ago? They said if I hadn't heard from them by 12:30, to call back then. Oi. 4 hours? My in-laws had come in the night before and our bags were packed, so in order to make use of our time, Andrew and I went to run errands. I wanted to start walking, since that was the only thing that seemed to move affairs along, and I had intentionally taken it easy to help ensure things were kept on hold until this day. But since the day had come, I headed to TJMaxx to make a return and shop around to stay moving while Andrew got a haircut next door.

Quick snap to document the final hours of pregnancy

Andrew bought me a dress and a couple pairs of shoes from Payless for $34 total. He lovingly told me I was "milking it" and I told him he was lucky I was so cheap. We headed home to regroup, then went to lunch at Chipolte with Joey, Kim and Preston. Andrew and I didn't have much of an appetite (way out of the ordinary for us), so just nibbled on some chips and guac. I force fed myself a few bites of chicken quesadilla, remembering the hospital's militant no-snacking rule. We finished up, and as we were walking out at 12:23, I got the call. Woohoo!! We kissed Preston goodbye, gave Joey and Kim parking lot hugs and headed to the hospital.

We got in and rolling around 1:00. A little paper work, a geometric print "gown" to put on, and an IV placed with a needle the size of a smoothie straw. Our nurse's name was Becky...she had 3 boys as well. She asked us about names and we started writing options out on the white board. Becky mentioned her grandson's name was "Atlas" and my jaw dropped. This was the very name I'd been trying to sell Andrew on for the last few weeks! This was the sign from heaven we'd been awaiting!!! Andrew chuckled at the coincidence and still said no. 

Pitocin started, waiting for contractions to ramp up. Lots of texts and calls to curious friends and family. Andrew got some work done on his new iPad the practice had just given him. I sent him to get ice chips and popsicles and begged to be snuck mini vanilla wafers I'd packed. That rule-keeping man was pretty withholding, a fact I slightly resented at the time, but was grateful for later. 

Sometime around 5:00, Dr. Graves (who had 6 deliveries happening that day) came in and broke my water. Lots of towels, lots of waiting. Epidural came next. I sure love those things. The whiskey and leather strap of yesteryear would be so proud at how far we've come. 

And then more waiting. My progression seemed slow. The next shift of nurses came in and I started to wonder if the baby would actually be born the next day. My step mom came to hang out with us, and my in-laws popped in before leaving to take the boys home at 8:30. Around 9:25 my nurse told me I was almost a 7 and then said she'd be back to check me again in an hour or so. This seemed like a long time to wait, but we sat there patiently watching my contractions on the monitor. I started feeling them and wondered if the epidural needed a boost. 

When my nurse came back just after 10, she started setting up the room for delivery. Dr. Graves came back in and we learned I was her very last mama to deliver. Things were really casual at this point - since the doctor was there, contractions were close, we decided to do a practice push to see if the baby's head would descend any. There were two nurses and the doctor there. I gave a half push and the doctor yelled, "WAIT!" I looked at a surprised but excited Andrew who told me he could see the baby's head. What? Okay!  

Dr. Graves scrambled to put on her delivery garb. A crowd of staff came rushing into the room. Our baby was crowning and I'd been instructed to "wait"...easier shouted than done. I mustered a stale smile in an attempt to mask the tremendous pressure I was feeling. In what was probably only 30 seconds, we were able to give another push and our beautiful baby boy was here. It took him a minute to cry, but he looked perfect. 7 pounds, 11 ounces, 19.5 inches - the dark haired baby I'd always dreamed we'd have! ...no offense to my previously born, lighter haired children.

Someone asked what his name was and Andrew and I looked at each other - we both seemed to know what we'd agreed on most, and Andrew let me say it - "Rhett Davis Steele."