You're Killing Me Smalls II

Asher may not know how to dress himself, but the kid sure has comedy skills. He says and does the funniest things without ever trying. Here are some recent gems:

Me: "You're a good boy, Asher, aren't you?"

Asher: "Yes, but not THAT good."

After being told he had to share his grapefruit: "I don't like my life anymore."

After being told to put his t-ball set away: "I have to play baseball so I can be happy! If I put it away, I can't be happy."

(Pulls out a toy after rifling through his toy box) "This is the very thing I need!"

"I like my Porshe. It zooms on the mountain top! That's what it dos."

When I told him he wasn't eligible for a treat: "Mommy, I'm so disappointed in you."

Me: "Let's go take a nap, Ash."

Asher (Hysterical and overtired): "NO! Let's NOT take a nap! That's NOT sounds like a great idea!"

Asher: "What are you doing, mommy?"

Me: "I'm painting my toenails."

Asher: "I always do that when I turn into a girl."  

Say what?

A couple months ago, I came downstairs from putting the baby down to find a chair had been dragged into the kitchen and a container of cookies removed from the cabinet and opened. Normally I'd have scolded Asher there and then, but he was no longer at the scene, so I quietly put the chair back and the cookies away. I started up the stairs out of sight, and watched as he came skipping around the corner, expecting to get another forbidden cookie. Seeing everything had vanished, he cried in shocked confusion, "WHAT the HECK?!"

During our last visit to Central City, Asher was riding along on an errand with Nina, and said, "We went to hell today." Thinking she'd misheard him, Kim said, "You went up the hill?" "No, we went to HELL today." He then pointed to Wal Mart.

Earlier that day, I'd asked Andrew to pull into Wal Mart so I could run in for something, and he reluctantly agreed. Asher asked, "Where are we?" And as I answered "Wal Mart," Andrew grumbled "Hell" under his breath. Lesson learned - Asher remembers everything! 

...Except where he hid the remote yesterday. Andrew's been in San Diego all week for a conference, so the issue of the remote's location hasn't been as pressing. But with Daddy coming home tomorrow, I felt more urgency to resolve the matter this afternoon. I kept asking Asher where it was, and he kept placing a finger on his chin, furrowing his little brow and saying, "I think it was around here somewhere...." After several fruitless rounds of this game, I muttered, "Daddy's gonna kill you..." I knew it was a mistake as soon as the words escaped my lips. Parenting blooper #850192870261.

During my nightly call with Andrew, I held up the phone for Asher to say hi. Instead, he happily proclaimed, "You're gonna kill me!" 

But he won't. :) We love this funny little boy so very much, and thank Heavenly Father each day for trusting us to raise him.