The Day Our Preston Came

Our little boy is here! Today is actually his due date, but he surprised us by making his appearance 11 days early. Let me tell you - we couldn't be happier with the way it all transpired. Here's the story:

Friday morning, August 17th, I was awakened around 5:00 by contractions coming about every 8 minutes. They were a little painful, but I didn't want to make too much of them. My stirring awoke Andrew, so I told him what was going on, but to go back to bed, as it was likely just false labor. Unable to sleep, I went downstairs to do some uninterrupted cleaning and continued timing contractions.

They stayed between 7 and 8 minutes apart, but I was still able to talk through them, so we continued about our day. I had a planning meeting, Andrew (who was out of school until the following Wednesday) went to physical therapy for his knee. We met back up for a family trip to the library (paid for a popular children's book my son ruined gluing the pages together. Who's his mother?), and then stopped by the grocery store. In and out of the aisles we weaved, timing contractions all the way. 6 minutes now. And getting markedly more painful.

But it was all pretty exciting! The big question was, should we go to the hospital? I had this fear of finding someone to watch Asher, calling my in-laws (who had a 5-hour drive up from Kentucky), rushing to the hospital, only to be sent home from the triage in shame. Well, it was there in the Kroger parking lot, doubled over the dirty cart return that I answered the question: Yeeeeaah...we should probably go.

So we started making calls. In-laws on their way. The Dansies are good to watch Asher (We'd actually planned to go on a date that night, and they were set to watch him anyway, so it worked nicely). We put away groceries at lightening speed, and rushed around doing last minute tasks. Asher's essentials laid out, infant carrier at ready, going home outfit packed for baby. We realize we should eat a quick something and split the California roll we'd just bought. Three pieces of sushi and a vitamin water become my last supper.

3:00 - We drop Asher off and head for the hospital. I cancel our 8:00 sealing session, sad we were a day late. We make a few calls to family, get to the labor and delivery unit, only to wait 40 minutes before a triage bed became open. Busy day, apparently. By 4:00, my contractions have continued intensifying and are 5 minutes apart. But is it enough to be admitted? They check me - 4cm plus. Augh. The nurses tell us they want to see progress before we can be admitted to labor and delivery, and send us on a 45-minute walk around the hospital. 

It was fun at first. Then the fun started ending abruptly every four minutes or so in exchange for the worst pain of my life. When this happened, I became a total troll - just like in movies. Poor Andrew..."Don't talk." "Stop being weird!" "Get away from me." It was a little comical. Then 40 seconds of terrible pain passed and I once again resumed civil, human behavior. 

5:30 came, we returned to the triage to be checked. There was no question to me I was really laboring at this point, but they could still send me home. The nurse stretched me to a 5, and got permission to admit me. Hallelujah! But things were getting so painful so fast, I couldn't celebrate much. Intense contractions every 2 and a half minutes. Three bloody, failed attempts to get the IV in. Wheelchair ride to labor and delivery. Waiting for clearance on the epidural. All I can think about is women giving birth in the back of wagons, Mary riding a donkey, not finding a room (Somebody give her a room!!) then having to breathe in the stench of livestock while enduring this same pain on the ground of a stable. History has afforded so few with clean hospitals and modern medicine....HOW are there so many people in this world???

7:10 - The anesthesiologist comes and administers a very welcome epidural, and I feel the wicked contractions subside. Call the Dansies to check on Ash. Chat a few minutes. Andrew calls his parents - they are still about an hour from Columbus, planning to pick Asher up and head to the hospital. Life seems to be quieting down for a bit.

7:30 - I am informed I am completely dilated. (Wait - seriously? How did that happen so fast?) Waiting for a member of my practice to arrive so we can deliver. I start feeling a ton of pressure...wonder if the epidural is working. OUCH. Andrew runs to the car for our bags and camera. While he's gone, the doctor arrives, says dad picked a bad time to leave. What?!? Don't say that!

Andrew re-enters the room, baby's head is visible. They break my water and it's time to push! Feeling really weak, but try to do my best. Two pushes later, and I hear Andrew get choked up. Our tiny miracle has arrived, and is placed on my chest. One of the most powerful, precious moments of our lives.

Preston Andrew Steele: Born at 8:11 pm on August 17th, 2012. 6 lbs., 10 ounces, 20 inches long.

Asher meeting his baby brother for the first time

Family of four!

Three generations of Steele boys

Even though this was nothing like our experience with Asher (he was induced the day before he was due, I was in labor for 16 hours, took forever to get dilate from a 6 to a 10, he weighed 7 lbs., 8 ounces, painless delivery), we are so grateful for the way everything worked out. Andrew was out of school and able to be with us stress-free, it was a weekend, so Andrew's parents were able to stay with Asher (they wouldn't have been able to make it the following week!), we had an extra week and a half with our baby boy, but he was perfectly healthy. Preston is a wonderful baby, and we can't believe how blessed we are to have this sweet child as part of our family. So grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who gives us so much more than we could ever deserve. 

Welcome to the world, little Preston! We love you so, so very much. 

Not Long Now...

So I had my 38 week appointment yesterday. I was anxious to know whether or not we were making any progress, as it was the first time I'd been checked, so when the doctor said I was dilated 3-4 centimeters, I actually hit her in the arm. I do that when I'm excited. Totally involuntary. Anyway, yee-haw! We're moving in the right direction!

 38 Weeks!

...Although, at the end of the day, it really doesn't mean much. No guarantee labor is even close! I've had a lot of uncomfortable contractions, but they are pretty sporadic, so I don't necessarily think this baby will be here tomorrow. But we did pack our hospital bag last night. And I kept wondering, am I ready? Am I really ready? Eh, no, not quite...I've had this crazy list of things to do before the baby comes (things like changing the drip pans, shampooing the carpets, touching up paint, detailing the car, etc.), and there are a few things yet to be knocked out before I'll feel completely prepared.

Plus, we have larger issues- like what in the world are we going to name this child??? We are the worst at this. I envy the people who have a name they both love, and have picked out, plastered all over the nursery and embroidered on every baby blanket the minute they know what they're expecting.

 Losers.

Okay, clearly I'm just jealous...we toss names back and forth until it's time to put things in ink. This time we thought we'd picked a name a few months early, and then friends of ours actually named their son the very same thing. Which now makes me feel sort of funny about using it.

My favorite favorite little boy's name right now is Sterling, but our blasted last name prevents us from using it. "Sterling Steele"......nope, can't do it. Sounds like a low-grade metal they make necklaces with, then sell on QVC. He wouldn't have a chance.

Long ago, Andrew and I struck a deal he would get final say with our boys names, and I would get final say with the girls. Guess it's been a raw deal for me so far...Anyway, it may sound crazy, but I like the idea of not having that giant naming pressure on my shoulders. Too much to think about on top of giving birth. We toss around names we like, then baby's born and Andrew announces what he shall be called. And I know my husband won't choose something out of left field I hate, so I trust him to make the final call.

So I look like kind of dumb, but here's a better profile shot of that full-term bellly.

 At any rate, not long now. I'm so grateful for these beautiful weeks we've had together at home...we'll miss taking Asher on little outings as a family. We've looked sort of pitiful doing it, but with Andrew off the brace, his limp improving, and this baby closer to delivery, our era as Peg and Preg is coming to an end. We won't miss that part. :)

I just finished writing the last page of my journal, and the timing seemed rather appropriate. As I looked back fondly through flashes of the past couple years, I realized we are closing a big chapter in our lives...the chapter we wrote as a family of three. Life is about to take a big turn, and I am so excited to meet the little spirit who will join our family forever! 

We already love you so much, sweet boy! Can't wait to welcome you into the world.

Ella's Blessing; Sarah's Tangent

We were so grateful to attend our new niece Ella's blessing last weekend! Such a nice couple of days. Only having to drive 4 hours to see family is a great, big blessing. Especially when your family consists of these wonderful people!

 

 Proud grandparents

 

 

Aubrey and Asher

Jaclyn and her new baby girl. So I might idolize this woman just a little...she is an amazing mother to 3 kids 3 and under, a loving wife to a busy branch president, teaches middle school full-time, maintains a beautifully decorated home, is a wonderful cook, has somehow managed to earn her masters and rank one, and still finds time to think of others. In short, she embodies what I want to be more than almost anything right now: on top of it.

You know people who are on top of it...ultra organized, ultra productive, ultra balanced, and ultra hot.

 The last one was kind of an afterthought, but it seems to be true a lot. Sure doesn't hurt.

Anyway, I think I have realistic desires. Among other things, I want to maintain a clean, ordered house, take my children on fun, educational outings, be an extra-thrifty shopper, make from scratch both healthy and highly delicious meals, devote daily time to scripture study and reflection, get 8 hours of sleep every night, render service to others, maintain correspondence with family and friends, and exercise for an hour 5 days a week. Totally achievable, right? Well, maybe for most people.

Thing is, "on top of it" don't come easy. Fast-paced and organized are not qualities that came packaged in my genetic make up (Why, DNA? WHHHHYYYYY!!?????). Instead, I am slow, easily overwhelmed and hopelessly scatterbrained. It's depressing. 

 And I'm not positive "pregnancy brain" is real, but the last 8 months I've seemed like even more of a forgetful, run-down mess. And I'm less patient with myself. Because, hey,  let's be real - the pressure's on! In less than three weeks, everything will change drastically. We'll have another human life on our hands! My duties will double, and my always-capable Andrew will be largely unavailable. Our new "addition" will be doing a lot of subtraction - in terms of sleep, time and energy. So how is this going to go? What am I going to do?

I believe most human matters boil down to choices, so I constantly resolve to do something about my deficiencies. I make great lists, think about the tasks at hand, try to power through my plans, and still somehow fall short every. single. day. It's really hard when your best isn't good enough. 

 And the fact it's been months since I set foot in a gym, the toilets need cleaning, and my family is doing good to get a home cooked meal half the time lately isn't what gets to me. It's the fear life's demands and my capacity are negatively correlated. The fear I won't improve. The fear my flaws will always keep me from becoming the wife and mother I dream of being.

I shouldn't dwell on my inadequacies and anxieties...negativity never helps. As I've struggled with these thoughts lately, I've taken great comfort in Ether 12:27:

  And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness; I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

I just love that verse. And that last part gives me such hope. I don't want to be unrealistic about my expectations for the future. And I don't want to be too hard on my present self...I really do try, and while I never get everything done, we do pretty well at the important things. Our little family is a happy one. And our new addition will certainly add to that. :)

The BBB

Yesterday brought a big, unexpected change in our household. And to be clear, it had nothing to do with the Better Business Bureau.

After breakfast, I casually mentioned to Andrew we still needed to find bedding for Asher's toddler bed (which had been purchased, but not assembled. Asher has never climbed out of his crib, so we've never felt pressured to graduate him). After all, while the baby will sleep close to us in a pack n' play for the first few months, he'll need the crib eventually.

Well. Let me tell you - I've learned I'm a talker, and Andrew's a doer. I make lists, weigh options, nail down action plans, etc., but Andrew sees a task at hand, dives in and completes it before I can say, "You know, I've been thinking we should..." I wish I was like him.
He does too.

So I make my off-hand comment, pack Asher up and head to the park to meet a friend for a couple hours. Low key. Slow paced. Andrew hops on the computer, finds some used Pottery Barn bedding on Craigslist, contacts the owner, talks down the price, drives out to Grove City to get it, comes home, throws the bedding in the wash, and begins assembling the bed. I would still have been in my pajamas, perusing options online.

Anyway, we come home from a leisurely morning at the park to see all Speedy has done, and were so excited. Especially Asher. In fact, nap time came and Asher informed us he wanted to sleep in his "new bed," so we shrugged our shoulders and went with it. We read some books, tucked him in, shut the door and then fell into each other's arms - "OUR BABY'S GROWN UP!"

Tonight everything's ready in the nursery to accommodate two little boys. Toddler bed up, furniture rearranged, clean bedding on, and crib mattress raised for the next sweet baby.

And because I love before and after shots, here are a couple pictures of the boys' room the day we moved in, and now, post "transformation."

 
Then:

Now:

Well done, Daddy!

 And as for Asher - so far he's done amazingly well. Doesn't climb out, calls for us if needs to go potty. I've heard a lot of moms talk about "big boy beds," but never understood what a rite of passage it was. Truly, if you're anything like me (a weepy, half-crazed pregnant woman) the sight of your child in a miniature adult bed will make you want to laugh, clap and cry. Way to go, little man!
You're on your way now. 

:)