The Day Rhett Came

The following is an overly detailed account of the day Rhett was born. I wrote most of it the week following his birth, but then school and Christmas demanded most of my child-free computer time. The little guy is a smiling 11-week-old chub now, but better late than never!

After a week of contractions that subsided when I stopped moving, we settled for an induction scheduled on Thursday, October 1st. I felt a little guilty to be forcing this baby into the world, but in light of our doctor's schedule, Andrew's patient schedule, and the fact my in-laws could only come help with the boys that weekend before leaving town, our time frame won out. Sorry baby.

I called the hospital at 5:00 AM as instructed, only to hear they had no beds available, and to call back at 8:30. I grabbed an extra hour of sleep (which made 4 and a half total - too many nerves. I wanted to have the baby, just not HAVE the baby, ya know?), got up with Andrew and curled my hair (am I the only one who tries to look pretty when they go to the hospital? You know it will be a very documented day, so go looking like the induction you are, by golly. Not someone who loved their baby enough to let it come naturally). Oddly, or not at all - both boys slept in for the first and last school morning ever, and had to be awoken. The ONE time we were already up. Still shaking my head.

I got Asher ready for school, then called the hospital back. "No room in the inn." Popular time to have a baby...what was happening 9 months ago? They said if I hadn't heard from them by 12:30, to call back then. Oi. 4 hours? My in-laws had come in the night before and our bags were packed, so in order to make use of our time, Andrew and I went to run errands. I wanted to start walking, since that was the only thing that seemed to move affairs along, and I had intentionally taken it easy to help ensure things were kept on hold until this day. But since the day had come, I headed to TJMaxx to make a return and shop around to stay moving while Andrew got a haircut next door.

Quick snap to document the final hours of pregnancy

Andrew bought me a dress and a couple pairs of shoes from Payless for $34 total. He lovingly told me I was "milking it" and I told him he was lucky I was so cheap. We headed home to regroup, then went to lunch at Chipolte with Joey, Kim and Preston. Andrew and I didn't have much of an appetite (way out of the ordinary for us), so just nibbled on some chips and guac. I force fed myself a few bites of chicken quesadilla, remembering the hospital's militant no-snacking rule. We finished up, and as we were walking out at 12:23, I got the call. Woohoo!! We kissed Preston goodbye, gave Joey and Kim parking lot hugs and headed to the hospital.

We got in and rolling around 1:00. A little paper work, a geometric print "gown" to put on, and an IV placed with a needle the size of a smoothie straw. Our nurse's name was Becky...she had 3 boys as well. She asked us about names and we started writing options out on the white board. Becky mentioned her grandson's name was "Atlas" and my jaw dropped. This was the very name I'd been trying to sell Andrew on for the last few weeks! This was the sign from heaven we'd been awaiting!!! Andrew chuckled at the coincidence and still said no. 

Pitocin started, waiting for contractions to ramp up. Lots of texts and calls to curious friends and family. Andrew got some work done on his new iPad the practice had just given him. I sent him to get ice chips and popsicles and begged to be snuck mini vanilla wafers I'd packed. That rule-keeping man was pretty withholding, a fact I slightly resented at the time, but was grateful for later. 

Sometime around 5:00, Dr. Graves (who had 6 deliveries happening that day) came in and broke my water. Lots of towels, lots of waiting. Epidural came next. I sure love those things. The whiskey and leather strap of yesteryear would be so proud at how far we've come. 

And then more waiting. My progression seemed slow. The next shift of nurses came in and I started to wonder if the baby would actually be born the next day. My step mom came to hang out with us, and my in-laws popped in before leaving to take the boys home at 8:30. Around 9:25 my nurse told me I was almost a 7 and then said she'd be back to check me again in an hour or so. This seemed like a long time to wait, but we sat there patiently watching my contractions on the monitor. I started feeling them and wondered if the epidural needed a boost. 

When my nurse came back just after 10, she started setting up the room for delivery. Dr. Graves came back in and we learned I was her very last mama to deliver. Things were really casual at this point - since the doctor was there, contractions were close, we decided to do a practice push to see if the baby's head would descend any. There were two nurses and the doctor there. I gave a half push and the doctor yelled, "WAIT!" I looked at a surprised but excited Andrew who told me he could see the baby's head. What? Okay!  

Dr. Graves scrambled to put on her delivery garb. A crowd of staff came rushing into the room. Our baby was crowning and I'd been instructed to "wait"...easier shouted than done. I mustered a stale smile in an attempt to mask the tremendous pressure I was feeling. In what was probably only 30 seconds, we were able to give another push and our beautiful baby boy was here. It took him a minute to cry, but he looked perfect. 7 pounds, 11 ounces, 19.5 inches - the dark haired baby I'd always dreamed we'd have! ...no offense to my previously born, lighter haired children.

Someone asked what his name was and Andrew and I looked at each other - we both seemed to know what we'd agreed on most, and Andrew let me say it - "Rhett Davis Steele." 

The Ole' Thesis

         So here's a little more background info on my thesis. The working title is "The Silent Dimension of a Health Care Narrative: Patient Perceptions of Practitioners' Nonverbal Cues," and I'm really thankful to have settled on a topic that both fascinates me and feels important. Andrew has a true interest as well, which has been great - always nice to live with a vested sounding board. Anyway, here's a little overview taken from my proposal:


         The quality of our health care hinges on the abilities of those providing it. While medical professionals are trained in the instrumental aspects of their field, they overwhelmingly lack communication training, particularly in the nonverbal realm (Roter et al., 2002, Monlineuvo et al., 2011). Yet, chances are, if a patient expresses a strong opinion of their practitioner, that professional is either a very skilled or very unskilled communicator. Beyond patient trust and satisfaction, conventional wisdom would tell us practitioners who put patients at ease have a greater chance of gaining more comprehensive and accurate patient histories, in turn yielding more accurate diagnoses. Satisfied patients are more likely to comply with treatment regimens, more likely to remain with one practitioner, refer other patients, and less likely to initiate malpractice suits (DiMatteo et al., 1980; Montague et al. 2013).

         An estimated 65% of the meaning in a social encounter is communicated non-verbally. Our nonverbal communication (posture, proximity, tone of voice, gestures, eye contact, etc.) often anticipates, substitutes, modifies, emphasizes, or, interestingly - as in the case of the physician who tells a patient she is happy to answer any questions they might have while avoiding their gaze and keeping a hand on the door knob - contradicts verbal communication. Nonverbal cues may be less susceptible to an individual’s censorship than verbal cues and therefore may more reliably indicate what is being communicated (Griffith, Wilson, Langer, & Haist, 2003).

         Patients are often hesitant to verbally express their feelings to their provider, and so the provider’s accurate perception of nonverbal cues may be the only way for him or her to identify patient dissatisfaction or distress and then exhibit the appropriate response (DiMatteo et al., 1980). Also, since the verbal expression of caring and concern is many times uncomfortable or inefficient for the clinician in his or her role, the ability to express emotion through nonverbal cues would be an important aspect of patient trust and rapport as well (Friedman, 1979).

         Modern health care providers are often overbooked and pressed for time. Additionally, the recent electronic health care records mandate is changing the nature and quality of American medical visits, with many patients feeling negatively impacted by physicians who seem preoccupied and use less eye contact. Ultimately, practitioners need to know that positive patient relationships can be established without necessarily compromising efficiency, and may be best achieved through effective nonverbal communication.


         SO. I'm gathering data through focus groups as well as a survey instrument. I'm posting the link to the latter below - the more responses the better!! If you've recently been to see a doctor, dentist, optometrist, nurse practitioner, etc. (really anyone licensed to diagnose and treat), please feel free to fill it out. Or keep it in mind if you have an upcoming appointment! The survey will be up and accepting anonymous responses until the beginning of November. Many of the questions seem redundant, but are taken from two established, validated measures. Anyway, thanks so much for your time!

Patient Perceptions and Satisfaction

P.S. On an unrelated, but significant note - the contractions that were just annoying when I started this post are now getting downright uncomfortable. Wondering if this could be the start of a long night...wish us luck!!

Pre-Baby Game

       We're getting close, you guys. At almost 38 weeks, I'm huge...like a house, but with no curb appeal. Being this close to the end makes me equal parts anxious, excited, and terrified. The fear and anxiety result from my desperate desire to complete every single project/task/outing prior to the baby raining down sweetness, sleep deprivation and stringent milk demands on our parade. I just like my joy served a la carte, without a lumpy side of stress lurking on the plate.

       As an insane person, this requires me to clean every baseboard, wall and window, stock up on anything I think we may need in the next 4 months, and drive Andrew batty with odd job requests. Maybe that's normal nesting. But aside from standard baby prep, there is also the "labor" of researching and writing my master's thesis, which I defend early December, and reassure myself daily is not that big of a deal and totally doable with the new baby. I don't know if I'm lying or not.

       Also, we obviously haven't picked out a name for this child yet. Not that we haven't diligently considered every boy name on the planet - we just only like and agree on none of them.

Asher has aided us in the quest. Since coming around to the fact the little sister he'd prayed constantly for would, in fact, be a boy, he's been very vocal about what we should name our new brother. His suggestions became so original and consistent, I started recording them. He gives us a fresh option each day. Sometimes they're surprisingly good; sometimes he misses the mark a bit (see: "Ooeymucho"). 

Here is the lively list of Asher's name suggestions thus far:

Theo

George Robin

Herman

Proopie

Jamal

Cooper

Comnater

Stetson

Maller

Ezra Rhett

Howard

Chris

The Claw

Jethro

Hero

Jazz

Hugo

Link 

Spy Chase

Orlin

Berg

Ooeymucho

Bulletin

Wixy

Carlos
Ja-von
Lucas
Paulo
Sparky
Robert
Maximo

         Can you believe we've had all this naming help and still don't have anything nailed down?! Pahahaha... so Ash man has a liiittle more flare than taste. It's a crime of heredity.

         Another pre-baby development is our new vehicle! When the rattling Nissan Quest with 220,000 miles on it was going to require another repair last week, we finally bit the bullet and something more reliable. Andrew wanted a SUV so badly, but logic (and the realization we won't be cool no matter what we drive) won out and we now have a sweet Honda Odyssey. It was funny to be at the very same dealership where as an excited 17-year-old, I selected a sparkly new Civic coupe to drive to college. Rolling up pregnant with our third child to van shop was a nice little reality check. Time keeps marching, man. 11 years later, that (now impractical) little Civic takes Andrew to work everyday, and makes him afraid of being towed from the hospital doctors lot.  

       Anyway. I never thought a used mini-van would make me feel like a princess, but it's the nicest vehicle we've ever owned and I'm thinking of selling the house and living out of it. Features I love: automatic doors, a DVD player with wireless headphones, heated leather seats (?!), custom weather-tech floor mats, sun roof, blue tooth syncing with our phones, and the list goes on. I am so happy the kids can all sit in the same row, and am excited to look up into that center surveillance mirror (this is a car for parents, people) and see an infant carrier between our two big boys. Heart.

       Last weekend I made a quick trip to Columbus to stay with and see some friends while I could still get around hands free. It was nice to catch up with a lot of people at once (thanks to Super Saturday), and I just kept feeling so grateful to know so many truly good, fun people. I didn't take a lot of pictures, but there was this:

At least one of us knows how to work it. 

I have such a love and admiration for this amazing woman! Melissa is expecting her third girl just as we're expecting our third boy, so obviously there are arranged marriages in the works.

        Then there are my sweet Friel twins. I LOVED getting to work with the youth at church, and can't believe these two are seniors! It makes me feel like a senior too. The kind that qualifies for discounts.

       After a speedy but wonderful Columbus visit, we hit up IKEA in Cincinnati. Let me tell you something - I love that place, but on a Saturday afternoon, it is the pits of hell. We were there for 4 hours getting the last of the furniture and accessories we needed for the house. The boys behaved really well though, and my sweet in-laws came to Louisville and helped us finish off assembly and decor in the basement living area and play room. It is all so functional, homey and cute! One more giant thing crossed off our pre-baby list!

And finally, a note to our new little man:

          We have an ultrasound scheduled at the doctor in a couple days, and I am SO excited to see you. You are by far the most active baby I've ever carried, and I am in constant disbelief at how feisty and strong you are! Your little dance parties last for hours sometimes (ahem, midnight to 3 AM Friday?? You're grounded.), and I am nervous that rather than the low-key third boy I envisioned, you may be our wildest man yet. But be who you are - we'll take you. Your big brothers are anxious to meet and hold you, and I can't wait to see that incredibly special look on your dad's face he only makes as he sees his children for the first time. We'll stay busy so we can be ready whenever you are! Love you so much already.

- Mom

Preston at 3: A Progress Report

Asher looked forward to his younger brother's birthday. "I'm excited for Preston to turn 3, so he'll know how to share and won't hit me and bite me!" I tried to gently explain that learning and growth were gradual processes, but it didn't quite stick. The morning of Preston's third birthday, a confused Asher walked out of their shared bedroom and exclaimed, "Preston still looks two!"

None the less, the boy is now officially 3 and when asked how old he is, will hold up 3 fingers via the "OK" sign, and say, "Free and a haff!" It's a 6-month lie (innocently inspired by his brother's incessant pronouncement that he's "5-and-a-half!"), but still pretty cute. 

Other cute things about Preston right now: He has a love of small things, and any time he sees a small version of something, for example - a tiny grape amidst those of average-size - shouts, "Aw, mommy look - a SWEET grape!" 

I'm also just low-class enough to mention his cute terminology for doing his big business on the toilet. When he needs to go number 2, he says "Mommy, I need to go squeezes!" or "Look - I went squeezes on the toilet!" Tonight after an especially diminutive bowel movement, he said,  "Aw, look - a SWEET squeeze!" Sorry to make you uncomfortable. Just one of those little things we'll completely forget if I don't record that we want to chuckle about later. :)

Celebrating successful squeezing at the "ice cream shop". There's a Baskin Robbins right next to our house now, and while it's no Jeni's, I still foresee us spending plenty of happy time and calories there.

Preston is one who relies on his naps to maintain human form, which makes 1:00 PM church a trial of our faith. There have been some pretty rough moments. But a couple months ago, we started bringing his tacky Spider Man blanket and travel pillow to church with us. Sometimes it pays to be shameless...the child is now in the routine of conking out for a two hour pew nap like a little homeless person. The sanctity of our Sabbath is saved. 

Though Preston maintains that characteristic of being ready to fight at the slightest provocation, he is happy and affectionate the majority of the time. Really. When he's in an especially good mood, he'll grab your face and just lay one on you, then won't pull away until you sort of pry him off (yes, I've wondered about how this will go in high school; not sure if he'll make me a young grandmother, or never at all :). 

He's also more verbally affectionate lately, which really melts us. Last weekend, he dumped the last of the soap into the tub at once to create, in the words of Asher, "The funnest bath [they'd] ever had!" They had a marvelous time playing, and we heard Preston say again and again, "I love you, Asher. I love 

you, Asher."

Preston's old permascowl has been fading fast, and the former grump has become quite friendly, even to strangers. Instead of snubbing new faces, he now often says, "Hey, wassyo naaame?" When asked his own name, extends a hand to shake and responds, "I'm Pressen Andoo Steah. Nice to meechu!" 

He's also gaining a handle on the ole' aggression. I may be his mother, but since Preston's transformation into troubled toddler, have become his parole officer as well. I long to see him overcome his violent outbursts and regain good citizen status. And while he still has relapses (cut to him hitting a little girl at the Y yesterday, then telling me about it in a disturbingly casual tone), the young man seems well on the path to reform. Angry with Asher amidst a Kinetic Sand dispute last weekend, I saw him rear back, then stop himself, fist trembling mid-punch. Maybe he knew I was watching. But I like to think we're loving the serial killer right out of him. 

He also sings all the time. That's a hallmark sign of a happy child, right? His current favorites include "Ghostbusters," the Spider Man theme song, Sesame Street classics "Rubber Ducky" and "C is for Cookie," as well as more more contemporary selections like Maroon 5's "Love Somebody," and Walk the Moon's "Shut Up and Dance."  I carefully edit this last one when it plays by shouting "COME ON and dance with me!" over the chorus. It's worked like a charm and the boys delight to sing the modified version (although, the crude censorship is not foolproof. Asher recently came to me with squinted eyes and said, "Mom, I think it's actually 'Shum on' and dance with me." Mmm, is that right? ...Oops.)

But even in his happier, less violent form, Preston is still more "boy" than I could have ever prepared for. He loves all things super hero, Buzz Lightyear, and Lightning McQueen. He wants to constantly wrestle and be tickled and chased. The kid is plain rough, and I've informed Andrew Preston may suffer from "high T". There is no cure. Only bedtime.

This child keeps us laughing, guessing, fuming, and melting. We're (almost always) SO happy he's ours. 

When Life Gives You Kindergarten

Asher started school on Wednesday the 12th, marking the end of our "all the kids at home" chapter. Leading up to it, I was surprised by how emotional I felt...tears would spring to my eyes every time I thought of these tender years being over with him. Andrew was empathetic, but a little stunned by my intermittent blubbering. I'd attribute the water works to pregnancy, but have been my old stone cold self the last 7 months. My heart just felt heavy and my head swirled with questions: had I taught Asher enough? Did we make enough happy memories together? Read enough books? I started resenting every minute of idle screen time I'd ever allowed him, and felt desperate to make each moment of our fading summer meaningful.

Then Preston got some crazy stomach bug and was in worse shape than we'd ever seen him. After a vomit filled night, the following afternoon was Asher's Kindergarten preview day, where the kids go to school for a few hours with their teachers and half their class, and parents come into the school and meet everyone. I really didn't want Asher to miss the chance to acclimate, so reluctantly packed up a listless Preston and covered him in the stroller. Asher had no problem whatsoever with our leaving him with strangers in an unfamiliar classroom, which was a mildly painful relief. I wheeled our sick toddler back to the van, who proceeded to throw up all over himself, and fall asleep. I bought myself a smoothie and pretended it was alcohol.

I sat in our driveway and opened the sweet packet Asher's teacher had handed out to parents. The sappy note was a tsunami to the run-down surf shack of my composure. There was a time I prided myself on my emotional stability, but as I sat in my driveway crying and sad drinking a smoothie, vomit-covered child in the backseat, I realized "imbalanced" might be my new middle name. But how could I be turning my 5-year-old over to the state 8 hours a day, 5 days a week? Should I be homeschooling him? Would Preston even live to see kindergarten?

Since he had already had a blessing and was now at 24 hours without holding down any fluids, I called our close family members and asked them to pray. They were all so sweet about it. I let the poor boy sleep as long as I could before having to clean him up, change his clothes, and turn around to pick up Asher. Miraculously, he suddenly began talking and acting like himself. He held down some juice and continued to improve. I felt so grateful for the power of prayer. 

Asher had a fantastic time at kindergarten preview day, and it put us all at ease. The night before school started, Andrew sat him down for a little pre-school talk and father's blessing. Preston was oblivious. I got choked up and took a phone pic.

Andrew looks a little papal here, but he was just counting off rules. Mostly "remember who you are" type stuff.

The first morning of school arrived, and Asher felt a little nervous, but mostly excited.

Love this happy boy.

The bus finally came, and just like that,

he was off!

So were all bets on my emotional state. Preston (who was screaming and thrashing around in the stroller after being unable to ride the bus with Asher) and I walked home and I started loud, ugly crying before we even made it through the door. I hoped the neighbors we hadn't met weren't watching. Conveniently, the unfamiliar sound of sobbing shocked Preston out of his fit.

Then I received a call from my OB's office informing me I'd failed my glucose test and needed to come in for the fasting, three-hour, three-blood draw test as soon as possible. I thought this was stupid, since I knew they'd taken my blood 8 minutes early, I was BARELY over the limit, with no family history, signs or symptoms whatsoever, and only 25% of those who test high actually have gestational diabetes. The nurse didn't think any of these things mattered, and pressed me for the earliest time I could come in. But what was I supposed to do with Preston for three hours?

The Relief Society president was coming over for a meeting that afternoon, friends from Ohio were due in for dinner that night, with more company to follow. I got an email from a member of the bishopric, asking if I'd speak in church THAT Sunday. Too much stress, too many feelings - I crumpled into a heap in the hallway and wept bitterly. 

A confused Preston sat on my lap and tried to contort my mouth into a smile. "You not sad - you happy, mommy?" I took him up on every hug he offered and tried not to feel guilty for the very real possibility I was traumatizing him.

I was just struggling. Struggling with the idea of turning my child over to strangers for 2/3 of his waking hours, struggling to comply with a nurse's rigid protocol, struggling to fulfill inconvenient commitments, and struggling to accept a speaking assignment in a new ward with limited prep time.

But as I relaxed and tried to work through things one at a time, I realized there was a bigger lesson I needed to learn. Sometimes in life we need to fight for, or fight against things, but other times we need to be humble and submissive. Especially to the will of the Father. We try to live the very best we can, and when things crop up beyond our control, we need not struggle; we can be calm and feel peace knowing this life is meant to present challenges. Even with minor difficulties like mine, we can draw on the help and comfort of the Savior, and choose to be cheerful and prayerful, submitting to those things we must pass through. 

With those thoughts in mind, peace flooded my soul. 

It's been a week and a half. No tears since the hallway breakdown. Asher is loving kindergarten, although he  complains it's too long. Preston and I are enjoying the one-on one time, however, and I am grateful for the next month or so we'll have to hang out together before the new baby comes. 

I agreed to speak in church, but asked to use a talk I'd already written since time was short and we would be entertaining 3 sets of out-of-town guests between Wednesday and Sunday. They were fine with that, and I am grateful it was over quickly without hanging over my head long.

I also agreed to retake the 1-hour glucose test rather than the 3-hour, and happily, passed with no problem this time around. My little sister visiting from Canada was wonderful to watch Preston, and the whole thing wasn't so bad after all. I mostly resented the fact I could have had two delicious slices of cake instead of those flat, syrupy orange sodas. But cheers! We submit, we don't complain. :) 

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who has blessed me with a full, rich life and even a semi-private forum in which to document minor upsets and honest feelings. Life is always good. :)

A Taste of the Ideal

We've spent the past month settling into the routine of normal life. Daddy leaves for work in the morning, and the kids and I play. Seriously, I've felt like a play-at-home mom. We usually take an outing in the morning - we'll try a new splash park, head to the playground, Calypso Cove, Kazoing, or the YMCA. We're finally Y members, and it is SO nice to have an hour where the kids are taken care of and I can just exercise and watch HGTV. Spoiled. Or as we say around here, "spowlt" - spowlt rott'n. 

 What you do when your two-year brother is napping and unable to destroy your happiness.

Master P sulking at Kazoing after being scolded for throwing a ball at someone.

I haven't had any work or school demands, and it has been so refreshing to solely focus on my family and homemaking. I shouldn't coin the term "play-at-home mom," because it's definitely work to keep everyone happy, fed, clean, clothed and learning.  Some days are harder than others.The boys sure know how to tease each other, scream, wrestle and whine, and while Preston is 100% potty trained, he's 0% poo-poo trained, so that's been wonderful fun.

 But things improve with time. The other day, we had a breakthrough Chick-Fil-A visit. Both boys stayed right by me until we finished ordering, then ate all their food without spills or fits. Preston didn't assault anyone in the play place, poop his pants or roll on the ground. We walked out of there holding hands across the parking lot and as they climbed into their own seats, I almost couldn't believe how good they'd been. 

I guess as your kids grow up a little, you don't want to slit your wrists as you leave public places as often. As I reflected on this a grateful smile played at my lips; then I remembered we're having another baby in a few months. 

But I am so happy about that. Really. Before conceiving, I pondered the incredible miracle children are...and all those who want so badly to have them, but are unable to. I think of those sweet people a lot. I made a little promise that if I could be pregnant again, I'd try to do it without complaining. Well lo and behold, this has been our easiest pregnancy by far, and I really have nothing to complain about! It's as if the heavens are helping me keep my promise....or trying to compensate for the fact that this little boy is going to be super, duper bad. :)  

The day Andrew got his first paycheck we went out and bought a sprinkler to help revive our dead lawn. Here's the boys' first backyard sprinkler experience. 

Hanging with this stinker during Sunday night dinner at Grammy and Gramp's house.

Anyway, homemaking...it does take more time to keep this place clean than our little condo. But we're so happy here. And cooking - the past couple years of us both busy with school and work made for much simpler meals at our house (as in, lots of quesadilla/"oops I forgot to plan dinner" nights). But lately it's been so much easier to have a real meal on the table when daddy rolls in around 5:30. He is only on call once every 3 weeks, and even then he's only had to go in to the office 2 or 3 times. He stays really busy with patients during the day, but he loves it (AND having access to a sweet doctor's lounge with chilled drinks and catered food at all times. Lucky...that's like my ultimate dream), and I'm so grateful for the way things are going.

Most nights when the kids go down, Andrew and I have time to watch something together, just as in days of yore. Somewhat tragically, folding clothes while watching the Bachelorette is one of my week's highlights (I hate myself a little for loving it...this season is awful, but I am still watching and dragging Andrew down with me). It really is the most entertaining sociological experiment.

We're in a beautiful phase where everyone sleeps through the night (another thing we'll kiss goodbye come October), so I have the focus and energy to stay on the boys when they're out of line, read to them lots, keep up our good family habits and even plan little Family Home Evenings instead of having the whole affair be an afterthought. Gotta say, I'm kind of loving these traditional gender roles and feel so lucky to be putting my best efforts toward the people that matter most. 

All that said, I am a little bummed to be starting work on my thesis. I take my program's final capstone course this fall, but since our new guy is arriving early October, need to get as much done ahead of time as possible. More on all that later. 

For now, I just want to document and drink in this month that has been such a taste of the ideal. 

The Month Between Studentdom and Real Peoplehood

I am happy to report that life in these parts is somehow still going really well, and major tradgedy or hardship has yet to befall us. Unless you count the air conditioner going out or our car breaking down. We can't complain - they were minor setbacks and actually timed beautifully. Plus we were trying to get rid of that money anyway...Andrew starts work tomorrow and we wanted to start fresh. 

The past 5 weeks has involved a move, gender ultrasound, graduation, trips to Emerald Isle, Chicago, entertaining our first house guests, our introduction to organized sports with Asher, and a first taste of normal life here in Louisville. Here are some scenes from our transition month:

'

Joey, Kim and I at Andrew's graduation banquet where he received a big award. We lugged home a few thousand dollars worth of low vision equipment feeling so proud of our guy.

Earlier that day, we had learned we are expecting our THIRD BABY BOY!!! It was kind of a shock, and it has taken me some time to readjust my expectations for life. Our chances of ever having a girl just got a lot slimmer. I think I may have blown an audition to the heavens at some point with my tragic little girl hair skills. But Heavenly Father knows what's best for our family. We love our cute, crazy boys so much, and are a little relieved to stay in boy mode. This little babe looks so sweet and perfect and our overwhelming emotion is definitely gratitude. 

I love this baby so much.

The next day was Andrew's graduation. It was a culmination of so much sacrifice and hard work...it drew out so many big emotions. Incredibly proud of this wonderful man!

Having out of town family there to celebrate with us meant so much.

Saying goodbye to good friends was hard...but I am so glad we were along together for this journey. Can't wait to jet set to conferences with you people!

The brothers-in-law minus Adam

Standing in the light at the end of the tunnel

The next day we took off to North Carolina to visit dear friends at the beach. We made so many great memories as a family and loved the opportunity to get together with friends every night when the kids when down. As a parent, that's living, man.

We love visiting the Pine Knoll Shores Aquarium! But in case you needed an update, sharks are still scary, evil looking fish.

Throwing, digging, diving...we all beach in our own way.

After a week of sightseeing, socializing, showering sand off oureselves and overeating, we arrived home from North Carolina and left the next day for our brother-in-law Brian's dental school graduation in Chicago. When we weren't cheering him on, wer were eating at Portillo's, sampling Giordonno's deep dish, and partying it up at the Embassy Suites.

We had the best couple of days with everyone and are so proud of this amazing family!

Bryan is now not only a dentist, but also a captain in the Army, and as such, had not one, but two ceremonies to attend in the afternoon (during nap time. Eek!). Preston held out for us though! Crashed hard on the way home at 4 PM.

We had a day back in Louisville before a visit from our good friends from Columbus for Memorial Day Weekend. We were a little dead after all our traveling, but had so much fun getting to entertain.

A major force in our new lives here in Louisville is baseball. One of the few benefits to having a baseball obsessed grandfather is that you get to enjoy his season tickets regularly. We've managed to go to a game at Slugger Field every week since we've been back. That's a lot of hot dogs, cotton candy, Cracker Jacks and spilled soda. I always bring wipes, my camera, and constant fear a foul will hit us at any moment.

The boys got to run the bases last week, which was so fun to watch.

And Ash man ran a lot of bases last week - his first little league game was on Saturday. Posted this pic to Instagram with this caption:

  "It's not every day your little boy hits a home run on the first pitch of his very first baseball game, and that your kids get to go to the toy store with gramps. It's not every day you have the best brunch at Wild Eggs, a backyard water fight, and get the whole house and both cars clean. It's not every day you eat free Penn Station, find the cutest park ever, and discover the community where you want to retire (‪#‎nortoncommons‬, whaaaat?!). It's not every day your husband makes you the first dirty Coke you've ever had (where have I BEEN??), so even when it keeps you awake hours later, you just feel happy and want to document this perfect day."

And for anyone interested in the delight known as a dirty Coke. I only drink soda on rare occasions, but perhaps I've been a fool. Do yourself a favor and try one -  Coke, a splash of coconut, and fresh squeezed lime all over ice with a straw -  soo good!

All the Best

Have you ever had one of those amazing streaks where life feels so good, SO full of tender mercies that you're secretly paranoid some terrible trial HAS to be lurking around the corner to level it all out? No?Most people are more sane than I am. I just know mortality is not meant to be easy...but lately life's offerings have my heart bubbling over with joy and gratitude.

Here are some big time good things going down in our world:

1) We bought a house this week! It was something we were very prayerful about, and honestly, we truly felt the hand of the Lord throughout every step of the process. I used to do home loans before we had kids, and remember how much of a giant paperwork nightmare these affairs can be. But everything was so incredibly smooth. We are so happy with the house and I seriously look at pictures of it all the time. Who needs cable when you're obsessed with looking at the same 43 photos, amirite?

 Here is a link to interior photos. I can't help it. It's just such a great house for our family.

2) We just wrapped up a fantastic week and a half trip with family. Easter festivities, conference weekend, an overnight Owensboro trip (where we got to stay in a presidential suite overlooking the river!), celebrating Andrew and his twin Ali's 30th birthdays...it was such magic (minus Asher turning into somewhat of a spoiled monster while under the charm of grandparents. He's doing better now...real life with us is like rehab).

3) Andrew has two short weeks of clinic until he graduates (GRADUATES!!!), and we'll get to celebrate a fun, significant weekend in Columbus with family. After celebrating graduation and mother's day, we'll head to Emerald Isle for a week at the beach with our best friends. And I haven't even told you what may be the best part of that whole line up, which leads me to our next big blessing:

4) We are having a BABY!! Truly, we feel so happy to be expecting a child in the fall. This blessing came on the heels of a partial molar pregnancy last November; losing a baby was far more difficult than we could have imagined. But life's sorrows make joys sweeter, and we feel all the more grateful now. Sooooo, all this to say we are scheduled to find out what we're having the Friday before graduation. Let's pray for a cooperative baby on May 8th!

Anyway, a few days after Emerald Isle, we'll take a trip to Chicago for our brother-in-law's dental school graduation. Being with family is truly what dreams are made of, so naturally, we're pumped to spend a couple days in a cool place with our favorite people. And you know what? Even though I'm a big-time anticipator, I'm not even a little depressed thinking about June 1st when all the excitement has died down and Andrew starts his new job. We'll have a new place to settle into, a YMCA membership to enjoy (finally!), and a summer to soak in. 

So maybe I'm still a little scared that Heavenly Father is going to humble us with something super difficult soon. I assure him daily that I can work on myself without the help of refining experiences, but we'll see how long I'm humored. *SIGH....Life is just so good right now, you all. And really, isn't it always?

Perfect Snow Day

My weak blogging goal lately is to post at least once a month. Hello, March 31st! My favorite season is officially here, but we've really had to fight for spring this year! We still needed coats this week.

Sunday, March 1st brought us a storm of perfect snow. Church was cancelled (which was especially merciful since we are currently in the dreaded 1:00 spot), so while Preston took the nap he so desperately needs but is usually forced to skip, the rest of us threw on boots and coats right over our comfy clothes and headed out to shovel and play.

Don't judge - snow days mean no make up or hair brushing. 

Asher and his beloved snowman. I'll be honest - we were really cozy inside and Andrew and I struggled to be excited about gearing up and playing in the snow at first. But we knew Asher would love it, and it was so sweet to laugh and play together...family memories made one snowball at a time. Life lesson: Sacrificing selfishness always pays dividends in the end. 

We came inside and had hot cocoa next to a warm fire and enjoyed a yummy crockpot roast and homemade macaroni and cheese. If every snow day were this perfect, I'd gladly take more snow in March.