D.C. = Don't Cry

Andrew left for a conference in D.C. today. He'll be gone for a whopping 5 days. He's been so looking forward to this trip (especially since this is his first visit), and I've been so dreading it. Why? Because I'm selfish, weak, and hate to be without him.

It's just...last week, we were together having fun in the Mexican sun! And I'm juxtaposing that with my current reality - alone in a semi-new place with a sleeping toddler, while it happens to be cold, dark and stormy out. Sad. A little funny, but mostly sad.

Andrew was elected as his school's trustee last month, which means he'll be attending several big conferences in cities across the U.S. each year. It's an excellent opportunity to represent his school, network, and be a voice in his field. I'm ultra proud of him. And jealous he gets to enjoy so much paid-for travel. He came home yesterday excitedly informing me of an additional three conferences he'll be attending in the coming months and, happy for him though I was, it made me melancholy to think of us apart so much. I decided to take a walk.

I do some of my best thinking on walks. So as I was carting Asher around the neighborhood, musing over my feelings towards Andrew's impending trips, it occurred to me: all this talk I hear about the importance of being an "independent woman," and I am not an independent woman!! Oh no. What is wrong with me?

When Andrew left this morning, I cried. Cried. And it wasn't the first time. How dumb.

I don't know why I've been bemoaning his absence this way - he'll be back, for pete's sake! Think of doctor's wives, military wives, SINGLE PEOPLE! Being alone is healthy, by golly, and I used to enjoy it. So why this response? Perhaps I've become too dependent on my husband. Who's going to warm up my feet in bed tonight? Take out the trash? Show me how to work our TV?

Maybe I've just been more emotional lately. No...no, I definitely have. But my nutty ways don't explain my bigger problem: the undesirable status I've achieved as a dependent woman.

Listen, maybe independence is overrated. Maybe God didn't intend for us to be independent at all. Neither the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man...yes, we need each other. I am so happy to only be half of our whole.

How's that for quick resolution?

So no more brooding tonight. I'm so, so glad Andrew is having a good time in Washington D.C.. Ash man and I are going to get out and have some fun too. I'm really looking forward to general conference weekend, and working on some of my own projects while watching whatever musical or chick flick I feel like. Just felt real excitement. :) Life is so good.

The End

When You Comin' Home, Dad?

I've alluded to it before - Andrew is in some serious school and studying monopolizes the majority of his time at home. It's hard sometimes. I know the necessity is only temporary, though, and while I often struggle with wanting more time together, I think his absence has been hardest on Asher. The boy just loves his Daddy. 

Andrew hates it too...but most nights find him sequestered away in his office, door closed, nose in the books. When it's been a while since Asher has seen his Dad, he knocks on the office door and says, "Daddy, wheh ah you?", until Andrew either lets him in for a moment, or gently tells him that Daddy is studying and will see him later. When the latter happens, I casually start singing "The Cat's in the Cradle," and try to occupy Asher elsewhere. 

Of course, the song is just a little joke. In reality, I have been consistently impressed with how Andrew makes time for us (as well as a hefty church calling), even in the midst of crazy school. He usually plays with Asher for a few minutes upon coming home, lends a hand when I need it, and we always eat dinner and do Asher's bedtime routine together. This is enough for me.

Here are a few pics from this past month's Asher-Daddy time.

 Andrew came home just as bed head here was waking up from his nap. A shared snack and a quick couch cuddle can go a long way.

 On the move

On the Saturday before final's week (Andrew's last big study day) he took another break to be with us. He and I were trying to video Asher playing in his room unaware, but it turned into 7 minutes of day-to-day, father and son footage. So here's the video, if you want to see it. It's no summer blockbuster, but it documents a little of what our real life feels like and captures Asher as his two-year-old self. 

Note: Half of the video is him begging us for a Skittle we promised him for going potty, and at the very end, Andrew falls. ;)

Life on a Saturday

Oh Asher...

I thought he was watching a movie downstairs while I made dinner. 

He wasn't.

Good thing he's cute.

 

The Good Day

Today was just an old-fashioned good day.

Here are some highlights, in the order they occurred:

- Asher and I getting to go to the science center with our friends to play and eat lunch
- Stopping on the way home for cinnamon twists, our favorite 89 cent treat
- Being productive during nap time while also getting a perfect 15-minute power nap
- Asher and I eating a batch of homemade apple chips right out of the oven
- Watching our little boy's face light up as Daddy walked in the door
- Finding out our friends are expecting a baby girl
- Laying on our bed with Asher and reading books
- Taking a trip to the grocery store as a family
- Listening to our son sing nearly all the words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"
- Talking to my big sister on the phone
- Splitting a grapefruit with Asher (can you tell we bond through sharing food? :)
- Hearing him rattle off his letters to himself while playing with his alphabet magnets
- Asher staying completely dry and accident free all day
- Seeing he actually went number 2 on his own (YES, this was a highlight! I took a picture on my phone to show Andrew!), then watching him make a "yucky" face and say, "We do not eat the poo poo." .....Good, yes, that's right.
- Meeting with our awesome young women's presidency to get a handle on girl's camp
- Talking to my mom on the phone

And finally....

- Andrew and I booking a spring break cruise to Mexico!

Feeling so happy and blessed. :)