Asherisms

Here are more Asherisms from the past couple weeks. You have to imagine a two-year-old saying them... it almost seems unnatural.  Anyway, even if these aren't cute and funny to anyone else, I want to record them! I've already forgotten too much. Enjoy!

As Mommy is in the passenger's seat, and Daddy is buckling him into his car seat:
"Hey! Where's my driver?"

While playing in the tub, as I attempt to begin washing his hair:
"No, Mommy! I'm busy right now!"

Daddy: "Asher, do you want a bite?"
Asher: "No."
Daddy: "You don't want a bite?"
Asher (hesitating): "No - yes. Yes I do want one."

Mommy: "Asher, look! The baby's kicking!"
Asher (scowling, lifting his foot in the air): "I kick the baby!!"

Asher on Ouchies:

Lately, when Ash Man accidentally hurts himself, he angrily runs to tattle on the culprit: "Mommy, Asher hurt me!"

We let him watch the famous YouTube video "Charlie Bit My Finger," a month or two ago, and all of a sudden, any time he gets a small ouchie, he says to himself in a British accent, "Ouch, Chah-lay!"

During a science center visit a few days ago, Asher and I were in a bathroom stall together during a potty training episode. He'd told me he needed to go, but acted a little reluctant upon seeing the dirty porcelain giant he was to use. Now, I don't know what motivated his next move - but it sure threw me for a loop.

He slapped his own bare bottom a couple times so it made a noise, then shouted, "Stop hitting me, Mommy!", so every stranger in the busy restroom could hear.

My jaw dropped open. When did my kid turn evil?

I don't know if he really wanted to make people believe I was beating him, but the act sure scared me. He wasn't angry with me, and has never done anything in that shrewd, deceptive fashion before or since, so I'm chalking it up to a slightly bored, uncomfortable toddler's attempt at creating a diversion. Please let me be right. Please.

Asher on Gender Confusion:

"I'm a girl!"

"I'm so, so, pretty!"

Mommy: "You're a big, strong boy!"
Asher: "Mommy's a big, strong boy too!

Mommy: "Pull up your underwear!"
Asher: "I pull up my panties!"
Mommy (trying to steer him away from the term): "Are those your underwear?"
Asher: "No, these are my panties!"

I love this child! He brings so much laughter to our days!